Victoria Wood

An idol can be anyone;
grandparent, friend or pet,
a movie star, or singer
or a legend never met.

Mine sadly is the latter,
a woman I never knew,
the late, great Victoria Wood
tragically taken far too soon.

I marvelled at her on TV,
she was a talented wordsmith,
Wood and Walters, Acorn Antiques
her iconic ‘An Audience With..’

Her songs were utter genius
comedy writing, she was the leader
‘Baby Boom’, ‘Pam’, ‘Let’s Do It:
the ballad of Barry and Freda’.

I loved the sitcom Dinnerladies
which she wrote and starred as Bren,
I bought the dvd box set
to watch again and again.

Growing up, she did inspire
millions, not just me
to see a leading lady
in the world of comedy.

She was a very private person
with an incredible talent to write
she had the confidence to perform on stage
but hated the limelight.

I have never been very confident
but she reminds me that I’m allowed,
to have a go, and share my voice
and stand out from the crowd.

When she died so suddenly
it brought us all to tears
but her comedy and genius
will live on throughout the years.

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Walking stick

My Grandma Had A Walking Stick

My Grandma had a walking stick
and before long, she had two,
she was always losing it around the house
where it was – she hadn’t a clue.

She would lean it against the table
or hook it on the door,
it was always tripping us up
when it fell onto the floor.

She only really used it
when she went out into town,
or at home to point to things
she needed help with to get down.

It was meant to help her get about
as her balance wasn’t so good,
but every time I saw her…
it wasn’t with her where she stood.

We were always telling her off
in a loving, caring way
to always have her stick with her,
“But it’s a nuisance” she would say.

She always made us laugh,
moaning about “that stupid thing”
and how the only way she’d find it
would be at the end of a piece of string.

Summer with a toddler

Summer With A Toddler

Summers used to be a time
when I’d relax and laze around,
play some music in the garden,
and listen as I browned.

It was the height of relaxation
with the birds up in the trees,
the butterflies flitting about
and the buzzing of the bees.

Well that’s all gone to pot
now I have a child in tow,
I don’t have time to relax
as he’s always on the go.

He runs up to the butterflies
excited when they land,
he calls me over to see
then tries to squash them with his hand.

We point out all the birds
he likes to do it every day,
but the birds are all called Bob
as it’s easier for him to say.

His favourite ‘toy’ outside
is our brand new garden hose,
he likes to water EVERYTHING
including all his clothes.

I try to sit down for a rest
and watch him playing in the sand,
but I’d barely warm the seat
before he’d grab me by the hand.

Up! Up! Up! he’d cry excitedly
for me to follow, as off he races,
I’d have to join him in the sandpit
getting sand lodged in some places.

He certainly keeps me fit
tearing around and having fun,
as I chase him with the suncream
to protect him from the sun.

So my time is now spent running around
and pushing him in his swing,
my lazy days are officially over…
but I wouldn’t change a thing!

How i long to be a poet

How I long to be a poet

How I long to be a poet
Well, I guess I am, between you and me,
But I wonder if there’ll be a day
when anyone else will want to see.

I write about anything and everything
about life, my friends, my son,
I like to add my humour
and have a bit of fun.

I’m a woman of 37
and have issues I can share,
from food intolerance to parenting,
or the annoyance of leg hair.

Whatever brings a smile,
a chuckle, snigger or a snort,
We need more things to laugh at
As life is far too short.

Inspired by Pam Ayres
She’s a genius with a rhyme
‘They should’ve asked my husband’
Is an old favourite of mine.

There are many poets out there
why can’t one of them be me?
I’ve never had much confidence
it’s always, maybe one day – we’ll see.

But maybe now’s the time to take the plunge,
See if my words can get a laugh
Or, ‘Here lies the secret poet’
Will be on my epitaph.

Oh how I long to be a poet
Well, I guess I am, between you and me,
I wonder if there’ll be a day
when anyone else will want to see.

Exercise Bike

Exercise Bike

I bought myself an exercise bike,
As I wanted to get fit,
I decided every evening
That upon it I would sit.

I had some weight to lose
And had tried all types of diet,
I wasn’t into exercise
But thought that I would try it.

I thought I’d cycle every day,
I’d pedal hard and fast,
But then the inevitable happened,
The novelty didn’t last.

I moved it to the living room,
Didn’t want to admit defeat,
I thought that I would cycle,
To Coronation Street.

Thirty minutes that programme lasted,
Sometimes even an hour!!
I couldn’t cycle for that long!
I didn’t have enough will power.

I’d start off with enthusiasm,
to put my body to the test,
but within a couple of minutes
I was dying for a rest.

The bike soon was ignored,
another seat around the telly,
and now I need another way,
to shift this weight from on my belly.

Maybe I should just accept
exercise is not for me,
Unless a stroll down to the shop,
to get some biscuits for my tea.

There is a plus side, though
if it’s a bike you want to buy,
As it really comes in handy,
for hanging washing on to dry.

We All Have That ‘One’ Neighbour

We all have that ‘one’ neighbour,
you’ll know the sort I mean,
ours tends to wear green overalls,
And in the driveway can be seen.

He’s regular as clockwork
and really is quite boring
as he has to wash his car…
EVERY Sunday morning!

It’s meant to be a day of rest
he should really take the plunge
and sit down with his feet up
instead, he’s out there with his sponge.

I sit and have my breakfast,
and watch, as out he goes,
in his crisp green overalls,
with his bucket and his hose.

Can it really be that dirty?
all caked in mud and grime,
he washes it so often
it always has a shine.

While it looks to us quite sad
as we say he needs a life
but does he have a motive?
is he hiding from his wife?

Maybe it’s a hobby,
an obsession, a pastime
well if that’s the case, he’s welcome,
to have a go at mine.

He doesn’t mind about the weather
it could be raining, hail or shine,
nothing stops him from car washing
every Sunday at half 9.